There are some very peculiar days which remind you who you were and what you have become.
This day just reminds me of who I was, a couple of years ago. If you asked me weather I want to go back and relive it and change things. No, it would kinda take the point of being the person life wants you to be.
But there is something I miss, something we all miss. The carelessness, the happiness, the I-wont-think-a-second-before-doing-it feel, with age and experiences we all change. Happiness becomes a sign of something mystical and unhappy. Cherishing and living in the moment becomes impossible, because somewhere we know how all the relationships end.
We are social beings, and by far that keeps us alive and belonged somewhere. Sooner or later, we all feel jealous, envious, hurt, left-out, uncared and unwanted. So here I am trying to comprehend what has become of me. Is life always this unfair or may be I know too much of it to let it take over. Have I become over cautious, paranoid, detached of emotions, to not let myself feel anything.
Is being numb really better than feeling sadness and tears take over.
Well I miss the days, the phase where getting an A+ in a test could cure a bad day, or being with your best friend meant sharing lollies and ice-cream not boyfriends. I miss being with people who cared, who came up to me when I hurt my knee or fell, not because they could gain something of the gesture. I miss those days when just a chocolate could convince you to be a better person.
Those days are surely gone for once. if this world is such a mean place, why live it?
Why stay in here locking all your feelings afraid you might hurt others or other might hurt you back. Why stick to hope rather than sanity and logic.
May be because we all believe in Miracles. Everyone hopes they are meant for better things, everyone believes they are the Miracles. But it isn’t true….It is all illusion’s…and we live in it…